19/12/09

Graduation Day!

I'd decided I needn't blog about this day since I would never be able to forget it, but realized a few days back that I was wrong. I'd received the official Commencement pics from the university by mail and while I sat looking at them, I found I had already forgotten many lil moments. So here is what I remember, lest I forget.

We (Kavi & I) woke up early in the morn & whilst Kavi made dosas for BF(correct me Kavi if I'm wrong here), I quickly got dressed & ready. Butterflies & dosas in the stomach is a well.... interesting combination, I realized. I was wearing a blazer for the first time in my life for what was in my head, the biggest day in my life, and when Kavi asked me to wear his new Invicta wrist-watch, it didn't exactly help the combi in the tummy (explained above). This was one of those moments which had convinced me I wouldn't forget this day.

Kavi'd already booked the train tickets and we caught the train to Champaign which took nearly forever to get there. A long train ride invariably throws up at least one interesting & difficult conversation, and this was no exception to the rule. At the end of it though, I was convinced I had spoken longer than required and had been successful in confusing him thoroughly although my intentions were to do just the opposite(speak lesser, listen more & not confuse him). Pardon me my generous host.

When we did eventually reach Champaign, it was snowing and very very COLD! We were also running about 45 minutes behind schedule, so we quickly hired a cab & reached Krannert Hall, a huge, imposing structure & the venue for the ceremony. We were greeted by a huge crowd assembled around a balcony cheering and applauding someone downstairs. When we peeked down, we found a steady stream of students, dressed in rich blue and orange gowns and hats, diplomas in hand, emerging from the auditorium, smiling and waving to the cheers from upstairs. Wow! This was it, and I was here!

I asked around to find out that the College of Arts had just finished its commencement and the College of Engineering would be next. I then got my graduation gown and regalia from the stall and went downstairs. We set about trying to figure out how to wear the gown, hood, tassel and hat properly and Kavi turned out to be quite the ace here. In fact, once I was done, he was helping out other students with their gowns n hoods too! And after he returned to the auditorium, I found my name card on the wall(Phds followed by Masters and then the undergrads) and began the seemingly never-ending wait in the queue for the ceremony to begin. Here I found one of my batchmates, Scott and had a nice lil chat until we were summoned. And then began our procession towards the auditorium This was the moment!

We entered the audi to a standing ovation from the audience with a band playing the welcome note for the procession, and boy did it feel great! Mellow yellow lighting, the applause, Kavi waving from the crowd, the HUUUGE audi and the band on the stage with immaculately polished brass instruments, it seemed like straight out from a James Cameron period classic. Surreal. We settled down and found the commencement brochure which had the name of every student graduating today, and I quickly flipped through it to find my name and re-assured myself of my place here. After the customary speeches, the Head of each Dept welcomed their students on the stage one-by-one and they received their diplomas from the dean as their name and the degree was being announced. There were a thousand thoughts flitting through my mind. "What if I trip & fall on the stage?", "What if my hands are too sweaty when I shake hands with the Dean?", "Do I look at the Dean while receiving my diploma or at the camera?", "Where's Kavi?", "I think I'm feeling  a bit hungry, I'm glad we had that burger on the train" etc etc.....

But when my turn did come, I was surprisingly calm (and blank) and didn't even hear how my name was called out(Kavi later said the Reader was struggling with my surname, chuckle!). Once all the students were done, the Dean pronounced us as Graduated and asked us to move the tassel from the right to the left on the hat.

I guess you might say I'd done a good job till now and played my part well, but this is when it just got too much to handle, and I finally broke down with tears streaming down as I moved the tassel and I was sniffing around for some time after that. So much for playing cool till now. Ah well!

After the ceremony, we left the hall in a procession again and were greeted by the same scene I mentioned earlier when I first entered the hall. Only this time, I was in the procession! And now, Kavi decided that it was appropriate to get lost in the crowd (he must've said the same about me), and it took me all of 15 mins to find him again. And then after all the official and unofficial photo sessions, I finally parted ways with the gown n hat and returned, albeit unwillingly, to my normal, routine life. Sigh! But I did get the tassel as a souvenir, so.. Yay!!

And after a sumptuous meal at... err.... Pizza Hut (I'm sure to get beaten up for celebrating this day in Pizza Hut) and some shopping at the campus, we took the bus to Chicago at night.

I know it was an amazing day and I might never experience this kinda joy again, but at the end of it all, if I look back at the past 2 years, I realize that what made it so memorable and why it meant so much to me, they were the days which were probably the most frustrating, when I would be scared, days on which nothing would go right, when the amount and difficulty of the work to be done seemed insurmountable, when people around me told me I wasn't good enough and when I doubted myself, days when I cried, and not with 1000 other people in an auditorium, wearing a hat & gown, but alone in my room. Without them, Commencement would be just another day.

I know the tone in some, if not most of this post might seem exaggerated, and cliche, but then I don't know how else to put it. It doesn't feel right to me if it's not over the top!

:)